He's Ours!!!

Day 46



It's official. The 15 day appeal period after court decision has just passed. Garrett Ruslan Snyder is now, absolutely-officially-no-more-hesitations OURS! Hooray! Ring the church bells. Let out some white doves. Do something big and celebratory because it is finally real! We are a family of four and that little pumpkin on the other side of the world has adoring parents and a great big brother.


News from the homefront... It's pretty good to be home. We have gone from snowsuits to sunscreen! When we walked in our front door 41 hours after leaving the cottage in Schuchinsk (we had some huge layovers), we were absolutely dazzled by the spendors of our modern American life. We couldn't stop staring at all the colors in our garden. Green! I actually laughed when I was able to drink water from the tap. After a couple adrenaline filled minutes of racing around the house to reacquaint ourselves we all ended up lying on the warm grass and staring up at the blue sky. It felt so good to take off our coats and feel the sun on our skin! Have I mentioned how wonderful our friends and family are. Our house was positively dripping in bouquets and little notes of congratulations. Our refrigorator was completely stocked with fresh food. (We devored the edamame beans in about 15 minutes). Calvin came home to four easter baskets in the living room. We felt so loved and I want to let you know that we are thankful for all of you!


But I miss Garrett!!!! He's doing fine. I know that. I knew that before I left. All the same, I miss him with the "phantom limb" ache that some amputee's report. I can't shake the feeling that some part of me is missing and I wake up in the middle of the night wanting him so much it hurts. Don't get me wrong it is absolutely wonderful to see all of my amazing friends and family again. It's great to settle Calvin and Tim back into the cozy little nest of our life here... but god, it's hard to be away from Garrett... and selfishly speaking, I wish I had never left. Luckily, there are two wonderful families in the Schuchinsk babyhouse right now. Carol and Tom Oliver, who we had the pleasure of meeting just before we left are adopting an adorable and energetic little guy who they are naming Ian. They've finished their bonging period and are waiting for their court date. There is also a very kind woman named Terri who is adopting a sweet little guy she will name Dimetri. I have been making myself an absolute nuisance on the e-mail accounts of both of these wonderful families begging for pictures of Garrett and every couple of days I open my computer in the morning to a wonderful surprise. Here is one of my favorites from last week. This is my happy boy hanging out with the Oliver's son, Ian.

Seeing that picture, how could you not want to fly across the ocean and scoop that little lovebug up and pinch those ridicuously round cheeks. Only 8 days to go! I just mught make it.

Paka Paka!

Becca

P.S. - I think Calvin is missing Kaz too. He still answers our questions in russian when he can and every time he counts something he does it once in English and then again in Russian. Too cute!

Paka to Kazakhstan

Day 31
My computer is the last thing left to be packed. The car will be here for us in about an hour to begin our very long journey home. I'm going to have to lock the doors to keep myself from leaping from the moving car as we pass by Schuchinsk on the way to the airport. We are done here, for now, and have to get home. So, expect to see us all, stateside on Easter Sunday. It's been a wonderful journey and I'm so glad that you could all follow along. I'll probably post a couple of times from home and then pick back up in earnest when I return for the second trip. I'm off for one last walk through the mud and wind... for old time's sake.
Paka to you all! And a fond Dosvedanya to Kazakhstan!
Becca

Court date and packing out.

Day 31

I'm sitting at my customary spot on a hard wooden chair in the dining room, sipping strong bitter tea and squinting a little at the glare off of the white plastic table cloth. I've sat in this exact spot for the past 30 days, typing madly, muttering to myself and watching a small square of Kokshetau out the barred window. The grey shadows of the torn plastic bags snagged in the tree outside flutter frantically in the wind. The buildings, and branches, and cars behind the pane are just faded silloettes painted on the white cotton drape that's nailed to the window at the corners. It is bright but muted. This is my last corner of Kokshetau. There are no more morning trips to the babyhouse. No Skulka in the afternoon. No more kisses for Calvin at the Viola store. No more mandatory cultural education at museums and theaters. No more dancing around this absurdly peach living room with Calvin. We are pulling up stakes and pulling back from life here.

A moment ago I would have said that Kokshetau was pulling back from us, too. Ali and his sisters aren't out in the front yard playing with the trucks that Calvin left in the mud. The day, though bright, is too windy to enjoy. The world we entered for a month felt distant. Then, my self indulgant brooding was decimated by our ridiculously loud door bell, which plays 15 seconds of selected lullalbies (this time it was "Frere Jacques") at volumes that seem like an assault on the ear canal. Our coordinator's 14 year old son, Dustyr, showed up at our door in his customary stocking cap and clean black boots. He is starting to learn English for an study exchange program in Boston this summer. So far, however, (besides telling mom that his younger sister was 81 years old,) the only word we have heard him say is "yes," which was his answer to absolutely every question we asked when he chaparoned us to a Kokshetau history museum last week. The poor kid, sweet but painfully shy, has been forced to tote Mom and I around the city on various occasions. We seem especially loud and clumsy around this slight and silent boy. He has endured our presence with the quiet resignation of a boy forced to wear his mother's hat to school. Today, however, he was sent to wish us well. He smiled and refused our offer of tea with a firm wave of his hand. Then he sighed and as if mustering his courage took a scrap of paper from his pocket. "You," he said, and held out the paper. On the paper, obviously copied from a Russian to English dictionary was the word "Bored." Mom and I both read and repeated the word with confusion and slightly veiled amusement. Dustyr, however, didn't seem to notice. He tapped a giant hand against his heart and repeated with affection "bored. you." Then he hugged us both and left. Oh, I love Kazakhstan.

See, I can't stay mad. Court today was so trying and getting to kiss my baby one last time, while dropping off gifts for the caregivers, absolutely ripped at my heart. I was drained and angry and wanted to throw the kind of screaming tantrum that Calvin launches when he is truly exhausted. Then Kazakhstan sends Dustyr to our door and I can't help but smile.

So you are probably wondering about court. All and all, everything went fine... but it's not official yet. Here's how it went down. Tim gave a speech. Everyone sung our praises, quite genuinely I think, and recommended that the court grant our petition to adopt Garrett. But, when it came right down to it, the judge said that she would make her decision on Monday. Tim and I had a moment of real panic at this point. What had gone wrong?!! Makhabbat seemed confused, too. Everyone shuffled out, then, leaving us with hearts racing and tears welling. Then our coordinator, Dustyr's mom Shizada, came in, took me by the hand and told us not to worry. She led us to the judge's chamber. The judge explained that our petition was all set to be granted and in fact she had already signed it, but that she couldn't file it yet because the prosecutor assigned to our case was on vacation. The attorney in the court room had just been filling in. When the real attorney returns on Monday, our petition will be granted. She smiled and congratulated us and took pictures. She acted like it was a done deal...but it is a little scary knowing that it isn't official. I just have to trust that it will happen. Everyone "in the know" seems confident that our petition will be granted. They congratulated us and took pictures.

I wanted to hear the judge say that we are Garrett's parents... but we'll be in America when the job actually gets done. It all amounts to the same thing, but without the moment of gratification and relief that most couples have. I really wanted that moment! Instead, I have a tense gleam in my eye and a thundering headache. Oh well. It'll happen. It'll happen. I just have to keep believing that it'll happen!

Tonight, we are going out one last time for kebabs with Makhabbat and Arajan and the Oliver's, a really nice family adopting a baby from Garrett's group. I finally managed to get Calvin down for a nap. So, with him rested, we have a shot at making it a nice evening together. I just have to keep my panic about the court proceedings at bay. Vodka might help. After all, when in Rome...

Paka,

Becca

gifts - a "how to" guide

Day 30 (part 2)
Gifts!
Get a pen, because if you are coming to Kokshetau here is what you need to know about the gifts you have to bring. I'll cover all the bases of here.
First of all: "who." You will need to give gifts to everyone involved in taking care of you, taking care of your child, and getting you through the court system here in Kaz. So you will need gifts for: your interpretor, your housekeeper, your driver, your coordinator, the babyhouse director, the babyhouse doctor, the head of the caregivers at the babyhouse, nine babyhouse caregivers, the judge, the prosecutor, the representative from the ministry of education, and the court stenographor. That is 20 gifts. There are only three men on the list: the driver, the babyhouse director, and the prosecutor.
O.K, so "what do you give them?" The easy answer, of course, is things that are lightweight and easy to pack! After all, you probably have a 50lb weight limit on your bag. We brought along gift bags and tissue paper and made up small gift bags for all twenty people. We filled the bags with pretty random assortment of small gifts. The best of those gifts included toilettries for the women, especially antibacterial lotions and makeup samplers. We also gave lots of cute stationary. We gave some chocolate (although the chocolate here in Kaz has been better than the stuff at home) and small flashlights. You want to give a better gift to the judge (we gave her a crosspen), the woman from the ministry of education, the babyhouse director and you interpretor. The smallest stuff goes to the caregivers.
Next: "when." Today. You will give all of the gifts right after your court hearing.
Where? You will give the judge, prosecutor, ministry of education representative, and stenographer their gifts at the courthouse. Then you will drive to the babyhouse, kiss your baby, and give out the rest of the gifts.
That's it. Now hit the dollar bin at Target and happy shopping!
Paka,
Becca

Our last visit

Day 30!

This was it. Our last full visitation with Garrett. I wrote an earlier version of this blog as soon as I got home, when I was feeling pretty drained and even a little angry. A couple hours and a hot shower later and I think I'm ready to try again. The fact that Calvin has been dancing around the room to KD Lang's "Little Patch of Heaven" (the theme song from Home on the Range) has definately helped. A happy three-year-old is a beautiful thing.

By changing my post, I don't mean to invalidate the feelings I had earlier in the day. Today was definately tough. For one brief shining moment I had my whole family together. I have waited so long to have both my boys in the same room! I got a glimpse of what my crazy and wonderful new life will feel like... and then I had to give Garrett back knowing that I can't even visit him again for a month! It was like a horrible tease and I felt angry. It was as if my happy family was being dangled in front of me, only to be pulled away again.

Today was a turning point in our time here. Our last visit with Garrett flipped some sort of internal switch in each of us and individually we all found that we are ready to come home. Suddenly getting on that plane seems like the only way to get my baby back... and I want him back so desperately. We are already packing. Calvin helped by packing himself.

There is a danger in making a temporary place like the cottage feel like a home. That is, when the time comes to leave, it feels like you are leaving a bit of yourself behind. We made a point of creating a life for ourselves here and I'm definately glad that we did. I'm glad that Kokshetau was our home, even if it hurts a little to take Calvin's fingerpainted pictures down.

Anyway, here are some happy moments from our day. I don't even want to look at them. They just make me miss my baby!

The Snyder family. All of us. Brothers!

Nana and her grandsons.
Daddy and his boys.

My boys.
Playtime.
My happy little guy.
Paka.

Becca

The Silver Lining

Day 29

Let us be happy for Sasha.

Sasha has found a family!

It's true! We just found out today, that with any luck, darling little Sasha will meet his lucky parents sometime in May! I nearly jumped for joy. Mom actually started crying with relief. Sasha's placement is absolutely the silver lining on the big storm cloud - I only have one more visit with Garrett before we leave!

I really can't believe it. Just one more day, because the day after that is court (no visit), then the next day we leave (no visit!). That is not nearly enough time to soak in the gaze from those giant hazel eyes. To kiss those chubby cheeks. To hold that warm little body close to mine.

How did this happen? How did the time slip by so quickly? I know that Garrett will be fine at the babyhouse until I get back... but selfishly I don't want to leave... because I'm his mother and I'll miss him!

Emotions aside, it is time for the logistics of these last days in Kokshetau. We have to get ready for court. That means pressing the suit and skirt that we hauled half way across the world. Tim also has to prepare a speech to read to the judge about how much we love Garrett. I am, quite nobly, attempting to keep myself from editing it for grammer and dramatic emphasis. We also have to put all of the gifts that we brought into bags and label them for all the right people. Since the gifting process was such a mystery to me when I traveled, I will be sure to include a detailed account of the who-gets-what in a later posting.

Then we get to the hard stuff....We have to take Calvin's bike, wash it up and give it to the orphanage. His first bike! (sniff). We have to explain to Calvin (and have Makhabbat explain to Ali) that we are leaving so Cal won't be around to play anymore. Then comes the last trip to the Viola market. Last walk to the Tsum store. Last frantic pigeon chase at the war memorial. We have to take all of Calvin's pictures off the wall. We have to pack. We have to leave.

I thought I would be so ready to come home, but I'm not!!! I actually started crying at the babyhouse today. The head of the caregivers came in to thank us for replacing a worn out toy tunnel with a new one from a local store. It wasn't a big deal, really, but she told us that she could tell how much we cared for all of the kids, not just our own... and I absolutely lost it. Oi. Here I go again...

Oh boy. Let's talk about happy things! For instance, Makhabbat gave Tim a hilarious chocolate bar today. Take a look. It's called Nestle For Men. I imagine that you have to say the name of the chocolate in a very serious and sultry baritone. Try it. The inside of the chocolate is imprinted with small pictures indicating "no women allowed." Don't worry, I had some anyway. I like to live dangerously.

Or, in the news of the super cute, the babies had "soccer lessons" in the babyhouse today. That's right. Baby soccer! The caregivers worked on those little baby quadraceps by encouraging them to kick at bright balloons. It was darling. Makhabbat took some pictures. (I imagine that this little guy was the winner of the match. He is ready for his victory lap around the nursery)
Also, Calvin was in fine form today. This evening, as we were walking home from a delicious dinner of giant kebabs with Makhabbat at the Rainbow cafe, Tim was carrying Cal on his shoulder. Tim said "Isn't your Daddy strong? I can hold you on this side and Garrett on the other." Calvin accepted this as a rather boring truth and asked the question that was on everyone mind. He said, "Yes, Daddy, but how many swedish fish can you carry?" I think we woke up the neighboring apartments with our laughs.

So I'm going to do my best to exit gracefully from Kokshetau. We have had a wonderful run and I'm not going to leave here a sniveling mess! I may need a lot of chocolate to keep my spirits up, but that's a risk I'm willing to take! So brace yourself California, because the Snyders (minus one) are landing in just a few days!

Love you all. I'm off to pack up gifts for the court.

Paka!

Becca

The language barrier is always good for a laugh

Day 28

Some of you may remember that while learning Russian, the longest phrase I was able to master was "Mooshna plateet po credeetnay cartouchkia"(may I pay by credit card?)... well, umm, I don't think I'm pronouncing that exactly the way that my Rapid Russian course intended. This morning Tim mentioned, to Shizada and Makhabbat, my attempts to learn this particular phrase and on their prompting I took a deep breath, puffed out my chest and repeated. Immediately Shizada cracked a large gold toothed smile and started laughing so hard that she clutched her side and wiped tears from her hazel eyes. Makhabbat followed suit. Apparently, I was asking "May I pay by credit potato?". The thought of my solemnly querying about "credit potatoes" to well-meaning clerks across Kazakhstan was more than the two good ladies could bear. I had to admit it was pretty funny. I was happy to be the comic relief of the morning.

In my own defense, we have all had similar moments of comedic translations while attempting to navigate the 'Russian Only' world of Kokshetau. Some of you may remember how Tim inexplicably ended up purchasing four of everything on a beverage excursion to the Viola market. Four bottles of Coke Light. Four cans of Red Bulls. Four bottles of beer. Four large jugs of water. He barely made it home with his bulky purchases. To this day, we can't figure out what he said to make them think that he wanted four of each.

Tim's love of Red Bull (I know, I know, I can't stand the thought of all the chemicals in that stuff) has also led to one of the standing jokes of our trip. After several slightly more successful trips to the Viola market, Tim thought that he had figured out the Russian word for Red Bull. Unbeknownst to me, he would stroll confidently into the market and point to the Red Bull. The clerk would take one down and say "Skulka?". Tim, feeling pretty smug at his mastery of the language, would say proudly "Da! Skulka!" The clerk would shake her head and ring him up. Only after about a week of similar transactions, did Tim proudly inform me that "Skulka" meant "Red Bull." "No, honey" I told him. "'Skulka' means 'how many?'. The clerk was asking you how many drinks you wanted!" Makhabbat thought this story was so funny that now everyday after the babyhouse, she asks Tim if he wants any Skulka. Usually the answer is 'yes' in which case Makhabbat claps Nursulatan on the shoulder and says "Skulka!" Knowing the routine, Nursultan answers "Da! Skulka!" and we are off to the cafe on the edge of town for snacks for the long road home.

Mom, too, has had some pretty funny trouble with translation. Just last night, out to dinner with Thelma the adoptive mom from NY, Mom asked the waiter to bring her "sok." (juice). He returned with a bottle of juice. Mom grimaced, shook her head, and said a little more firmly, "Niet. Sok." The waiter blinked and returned with a different kind of juice. Again the little American repeated, "Niet. SOK." The waiter, looking a little frazzled, returned with two kinds of juice. Finally mom gave up. She had been trying to order bread!

I guess the moral of the story is- if you are traveling to Kokshetau, learn Russian! Just a little, or you will be even more lost than we are. Here's the bare minimum of what you need to know:

1 - adin

2 - dva

3 - tree

4 - chitearya

5 - pyat

6 - shest

7 - syem

8 - vosyem

9 - dyevyat
10 - dyeasyat

Hello (informal)- Preevet or Zdrastvuitee

Goodbye - Paka

Yes - Da

No - Niet

Please - Pajaloosta

Thank You - Spaseeba

I Need - nooshna

That/There - tum

Bigger - Balshoya

Smaller - Maleenky

That all/ Through - Vsio

What's that - "Sto eta"

Bread - hlep

Water - vada

Memorize at least that much, and you won't be graceful, but you'll be able to manage here in Kokshetau.

In other news, I'm taking my Kokshetau experience to new parts of the web. In just a couple of hours I hope to be posting a video tour of the babyhouse to YouTube. You'll be able to walk through the front door of the babyhouse and down the hall to Garrett's room. I'll also show you the music room and the nursery and the activity room. All of those juicy details that I was so deperate for before I traveled. Until I figure out how to add the video to the site, here is the link... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0QSQjyheoo Click and enjoy!

Garrett was in high spirits again today and greeted us with big smiles and a little coo of happiness. He is such a quiet little bug. I wonder how a few months with my wild man, Calvin will change him. I bet the caregivers wouldn't even recognize their little "vinegreteka." Here he is today cruising around the music room in that little walker.

Here's Makhabbat telling Garrett that he needs to sleep. I don't think he believes her.

Paka,

Becca

The list

Day 27

As much as I miss all of you dear ones, my heart is honestly breaking a little at the thought of leaving Kokshetau in less than a week. This has been such an amazing moment in my life, the culmination of so much work. Tim and I planned and hoped and scrimped and saved for about a year and a half to get here. We dreamed for even longer. We had setbacks and sleepless night. We had moments of absolute euphoria. We spent weeks waiting for the mail, in hopes of receiving a dossier document. We read e-mails that doused us in the cold, dumbing fear that we might never make it to our baby. It was a year and a half of constant striving against invisible boundries that kept us from the child we knew was waiting for us.

It was a hard road and I'm so glad to be at the end of it, but I'm finding that it is harder to let go of the anxiety of those preparations than I thought it would be. Like a dog who runs even in its sleep, or a graduate who worries about forgotten homework, my heart still clenches with the anxiety of the adoption paperchase. But it is time now to let go of that anxiety, to accept that I don't have to struggle so much any more, to relax.

To that end, I am dedicating myself to transitioning from stressed out Prospective Adoptive Parent to contented mother of two beautiful, thriving boys. I have so much to be proud of and even more to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my boys, both of them... even when they throw up on me or won't take naps or spill glasses of Kazakh cherry juice precariously close to my computer. Being Calvin and Garrett's mother is the greatest gift in my life and there are no lengths I wouldn't go to for the love of my boys.

I am thankful for my husband who has worked countless hours and laid in bed wide awake trying to figure out how he was going to bring his whole family together. He is an amazing man, a wonderful partner, and a devoted dad. I am so lucky he found me in the lunchroom that fall day in 1998. I don't know where I would be without him.
I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends, all of you. You have supported us and welcomed Garrett with the triumphant fanfare that many bio babies don't even receive. A special thanks to my parents, of course. Nana is that "third arm" every mother wishes that she had. She is the reason we were able to bring Calvin along on this amazing adventure. She and my dad have done more than I could ever say to bring Garrett home. I'm not sure that we could have made it here without them. They are, and always have been, wonderful parents and I only hope that I can do as good a job with my boys.

I am thankful for the hardworking caregivers in the babyhouse in Schuchinsk. They do so much with so little. Even though tiles fall off the walls and the plumbing backs up, those wonderful women keep the babyhouse emaculately clean, warm, and inviting for the little souls who live there. They don't just care for the kids, they honestly love them. I am amazed every day by their capacity for love. The children at this orphanage are kissed and cuddled and tickled and sung to. Garrett smiles and gurgles with happiness when they hold him. (I try not to be jealous. I'll have my turn.) Here is a picture of Garrett with his favorite caregiver.

Speaking of which, as he was back on his game... here are pictures of my youngest son from this morning. He zoomed around the room in this little walker! Enjoy.

Paka!
Becca

Spotted baby and a dog in the car

Day 26

This is one of the pictures posted just at the entrance to Garrett's room at the babyhouse. The caregivers, either optimistic or unconcerned with the sign, continually have the arrow pointing to the happy child. Today, however, we felt pretty safe in turning the arrow down to the sad face. All of the babies in Garrett's ward, my little pie included, have a bad cold. They were all coughing and sniffling. Additionally, all the little ones have spots on their face from a generalized skin infection that is being passed among them. They look pretty pitiful.

So Garrett didn't really feel like playing again today.

So we just sort of cuddled until our time was up. When we got back to the car, we had a surprise in store. Nursultan, our crafty driver, had once again used Makhabbat's absence to transport a passenger home with us. This time, however, instead of loud women, he had a dog in the backseat! It was in a crate in the backseat and everytime we landed in a particularily big pothole, the poor creature howled miserably. I think that it was as confused about its presence in the car as we were. Never a dull moment.
In other news, last night's snow storm has dried into a cold fierce wind. Even though branches are cracking and adults are rushing to their homes, Calvin is still playing cars in the front yard with Ali and his sister. Yesterday we bought Ali a small toy car as a present and today Calvin ran out to see Ali shouting, "Ali! Ali! Padarak for you!" It was so cute.
Paka,
Becca

A moment together

Day 24

With less than a week left on our first trip to Kazakhstan, our wonderful interpretor Makhabbat was able to sneak mom and Calvin another visit with Garrett. It was so wonderful to have both of my boys in the same room, though Calvin was so wired after an hour sitting in the car that he was more like a blur as he ran back and forth across the activity room playing with one toy and then another. Thank heavens for that activity room!

We were originally placed in the music room with the french couple, but it became clear after only a few moments that my 3-year-old tornado of activty was more than that room could handle. He toppled stacks of toys, shrieking happily that he was a bowling boy, and pretended to be a tiger in the "jungle" of prize plants he caretakers have so neatly displayed in the corner. When he almost ran over the french man's hand with a toy car, we called Makhabbat back and begged her to find us a room where Calvin could play without upsetting anyone. Those of you who know Makhabbat will remember that she is quite a joker. Whether it is her own particularily dry sense of humor or simply a Kazakhstani thing, I don't know, but you can never tell when Makhabbat is playing a joke on you. She has an absolute poker face and seems to relish watching you squirm until she lets you in on her joke. Today was no exception. Pretending not to understand our request, Makhabbat told Mom and Calvin to come with her. She said that she knew a shop in downtown Schuchinsk where Mom could take Calvin grocery shopping. She completely ignored our protests and led a heartbroken Nana out of the room, indicating that she would return with them when our time was up. About 10 minues later, Makhabbat came back for us and told us that the activity room was now free for me, Tim, and Garrett to play in. Still hoping to secure mom's early release from her forced shopping trip, I told Makhabbat how much mom had been looking forward to seeing Garrett and that I hoped that they wouldn't be gone too long. Before I could finish pleading, however, Mak opened the door to the activity room to reveal Calvin frolicking in the ball pit and mom waiting excitedly on the couch. No shopping in downtown Schuchinsk after all. Makhabbat fooled me again!

Instead of leading mom and Cal out to a muddy hour of walking in Schuchinsk, St. Makhabbat had brought them down to the activity room to join the big kids for the last 10 minutes of their activity time. Calvin was in heaven with all the kiddos and, as if to test us, he and Sasha picked each other out from the crowd and started playing together. That's Cal and Sasha together on the strange blue and orange "kid's tredmill."Then, while Calvin frolicked like a little colt around the playroom, Sasha turned those deep brown eyes on my mom and handed her a ball with a small hopeful smile. Mom and Sasha played ball for the last few minutes of the group's play session.

That is one sweet little guy! All the little ones here are sweet, mind you, but Sasha is different because you can tell that he really wants a family. Most of the other kids seem pretty content at the babyhouse. But Sasha seeks you out when you come into a room. He watches you, smiles, and tries to engage you. He understands. It's that little flicker of hope in him that says "maybe you're here for me!" that really gets to me. So I'm counting on one of you to write me back and let me know that you are frantically assembling your dossier and will come get him! Otherwise I might just lose my mind at the thought of little Sasha spending his childhood in increasingly depressing orphanages! How can you say 'no' to a sweet little orphan, who quite literally, doesn't have a single person to love him?!!

Sorry. I'll pull myself together...back to my little family.

So we were all together for one brillant hour, Calvin happily swinging from the gymnastics equipment then taking a running leap into the ball pit. For the first half hour he was so eager to play that he hardly seemed to notice that any of the rest of us were there, even that new baby brother he has been hearing so much about. Garrett, who is still recovering from a little cold which the caregivers blame on his first excursion into the dangerous and frigid outdoors, snuggled with Nana while Tim and I chased after Calvin. While we were all playing together, Makhabbat showed back up and motioned that Tim should come with her. Like all of Makhabbat's summons, they are to be obey instantly and without question. Mom and I watched mutely as he left. He returned several minutes later with news from the kitchen. With the donation money we gave to the babyhouse, the director bought two new food preparation tables and a new water heater for the kitchen. It was a sheer coincidence that the babyhouse needed new kitchen equipment and that the donation for that purchase came from a chef, but the combination of the two factors led the staff to break their taboo on outsiders in the kitchen. Tim was invited in. Here is what he saw...

These two stoves cook breakfast lunch and dinner for the 30-50 children at this facility as well as the staff. We are constantly seeing caretakers hurrying from the kitchen with a stack of 3 or 4 lidded tin pots with a loaf of bread balanced on top, but we had never seen the kitchen, not even in pictures. I, of course, had witnessed the (excuse me for saying so) horrid sour milk porriage and compote that Garrett eats every day. That very day, in fact, I got to feed him the first time.

Anyway, back in the activity room...

When Calvin calmed down a little, he realized that there was a baby in the room and, momentarily at least, broke from his intense activity to hand Garrett several balls from the ball pit. Calvin then informed me, in the manner of a judge issuing a verdict, that Garrett's favorite color is green, just like Cal's. He nodded his approval and was off again racing full speed towards the slide, but in that moment I saw the fraternal bonds between my two little sons forged. I could have staying in the activity room all day. Calvin was happy playing with all the new toys. Garrett was happy watching Calvin. Tim, Nana, and I were happy just having all of us together. It was our very own moment of utopia here in the former USSR.

Eventually, however, it had to end and Makhabbat was back all too soon announcing "Posh lee, Ruslan. Spat!" (Let's go, Ruslan. To sleep!). Calvin didn't see the point in kissing his baby brother, but gave in at the insistence of all of the adults. Then we were off across the vast steppe with only the promise of hot chai and a nap for Calvin awaiting us at the cottage. By the way, this is the way that tired kiddos ride here in Kazakhstan. Calvin loves it and it will definately take some doing to get him to sit in the car seat again!It was a great day. I can't wait to have my boys home together!

Love you all!

Paka!
Becca