Russian Word of the Day

  • present = padarak

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Our last visit

Day 30!

This was it. Our last full visitation with Garrett. I wrote an earlier version of this blog as soon as I got home, when I was feeling pretty drained and even a little angry. A couple hours and a hot shower later and I think I'm ready to try again. The fact that Calvin has been dancing around the room to KD Lang's "Little Patch of Heaven" (the theme song from Home on the Range) has definately helped. A happy three-year-old is a beautiful thing.

By changing my post, I don't mean to invalidate the feelings I had earlier in the day. Today was definately tough. For one brief shining moment I had my whole family together. I have waited so long to have both my boys in the same room! I got a glimpse of what my crazy and wonderful new life will feel like... and then I had to give Garrett back knowing that I can't even visit him again for a month! It was like a horrible tease and I felt angry. It was as if my happy family was being dangled in front of me, only to be pulled away again.

Today was a turning point in our time here. Our last visit with Garrett flipped some sort of internal switch in each of us and individually we all found that we are ready to come home. Suddenly getting on that plane seems like the only way to get my baby back... and I want him back so desperately. We are already packing. Calvin helped by packing himself.

There is a danger in making a temporary place like the cottage feel like a home. That is, when the time comes to leave, it feels like you are leaving a bit of yourself behind. We made a point of creating a life for ourselves here and I'm definately glad that we did. I'm glad that Kokshetau was our home, even if it hurts a little to take Calvin's fingerpainted pictures down.

Anyway, here are some happy moments from our day. I don't even want to look at them. They just make me miss my baby!

The Snyder family. All of us. Brothers!

Nana and her grandsons.
Daddy and his boys.

My boys.
Playtime.
My happy little guy.
Paka.

Becca

5 comments:

Vonne Barnett said...

I will be praying that the time goes quickly for you until you are reunited again. You are a special family. Thanks for sharing your trip. You seem to appreciate each moment in life which is a rare occurrence. Vonne Barnett

Sam,Ryan, and Gabby said...

You are such a beautiful family and you all look so happy. You are in our prayers as you attend court & travel home. I can't believe it's been 30 days already, I almost feel like I know Garrett just from his pictures. I personally can't wait until your final trip when he's coming home. We can't wait to see you all. Travel safe.
With love to all of you!
Sam, Ryan, and Gabby

Dean and Janie said...

Dear Becca,

We are so happy for your beautiful family and we are sad with you at the same time. Kaz is a hard country to adopt from - having to leave your baby after spending time bonding with him. You will be in our prayers this month and we look forward to future posts and tips. you have done all of us "paps" a great service with your detailed writing.
God Bless. Janie

Regina said...

I have been gone for the last week so I am catching up on your latest news. So happy that Sasha has a family! I just sent your blog to a coworker that hopes to adopt one day.
I can hardly believe that 4 weeks has passed. Thank you so much for sharing with us, it has been such a gift to be given a glimpse into this most incredible time in your life. You truly are a beautiful little family.
We send our love your way to help you get through the next few weeks. Soon Garrett will be back in your loving arms and surrounded by your loving family and friends.
It will be such a blessing to meet him and see all of you together.
love to all of you,
Regina

ault family said...

Wonderful photos! (Although I admit that they gave me goosebumps and made my eyes teary.)

A blog buddy is rallying up a bunch of people to make today (April 10) a day of prayer for Kaz orphans and families who have either gone through, are in the process, or are waiting to adopt. We will pray for your family today!

Have a safe trip!
MaryAnn
OnOurWayToKaz.blogspot.com